Back Again. Maybe for Keeps.

Um. Hi. I know I have this weird stoppy-start-y thing with blogs, in that I love the idea of having one (please understand the level of my obsession with blogs: I would love to be blog-world-famous. That would be like being a guest on Oprah for me. Seriously. Blog world? I effing heart you.) but don't like the whole adding-photos-posting-editing thing. Especially when weeks in a row have looked something like this: 

Get up at 5am. Get to work. Work frantically on a lesson plan that won't suck. Lose said lesson plan and worksheets in one of my 4 classroom transitions. Want to cry. Work with middle school students all day. Want to cry more. Travel a lot. Spend too much on food and stressspending. Travel more. Come home. Sleep/ bathe/ eat something. Sleep. Wish I could sleep more. At least I stopped crying somewhere in there. 

So, interesting it isn't. Well, it is, especially if you're interested in the multiple, multifaceted swoops and dips of first-year teaching. (Three straight good classes with my worst period are making me feel...puzzled as to my good fortune, and really wishing I could figure out what changed so I could make sure it kept happening.) But I've gone off the derech/ path in a lot of key ways. 

One, my diet began to suck ass. Green smoothies? Let us just say that the roar of the blender hasn't been heard that much. That's changing, thank heavens. I missed feeling good and happy and content and in control. For one slightly scary week in which I thought I had fibromyalgia (until my patient mother pointed out that I had flown to the East Coast and back 4x in two weeks) because I was sleeping 12 hours a day, I was eating pretty much nothing except a few slices of soy bacon at work for lunch and coffee and Kashi bars for breakfast. It is a wonder my colon didn't explode. 

Two, I refroze my credit card. I had hit the limit and then some. I was using it for any purchase over a $100, with the worst, stupidest of reasons. I also spent beyond my limit on random stupid shit (RSS from here on out) which bankrupted me and got me to my current position of something like $100 till next pay day. Which I might feel challenged by, except that I just heard a story on NPR about a woman who had been living off $356 for months after losing her job. Shit, folks: I am so lucky. I am too lucky to not take advantage of my ability to save and be financially sound. Right?

Which leads me to three: I am moving out of my adorable, beloved neighborhood and little pretty apartment and into an apartment in some strip-mall-themed section of SDO. I put off doing this for months, but an incredibly generous offer has come my way which will allow me to save literally %50 on rent, and I can't afford not to take advantage of it. I'll be able to pay off my student loan and credit card by the end of the year, and if, after that, I want to move back into the city, then I will. I'm going to see the apartment tomorrow, but truthfully, unless it's a cockroach infested squat with talking mold, then I'm probably taking it. 

Which means I'll be moving in about a month. For the second time in four months. It is a royal PITA--I've stayed in apartments I didn't like with weird roomates just to avoid doing it--but this time, it's the right step. And, it's forcing me to use stuff up, question purchasing, go through and pare down the old wardrobe, clean, and in general, lighten up. 

Which by itself isn't bad. Maybe I should pretend I'm moving every month?

Am now paddling back to the bedroom for the bliss of a mid-afternoon nap with a bottle of Kombucha and a trashy novel. Bliss. Sheer, simple, perfect bliss. 

____

Goals for the month:

3 no-spend days p/ week for rest of month. 

2 homemade, healthy, real dinners a week

2 bags of giveaways a week till everything I own has been gone over

Call the dryer repairman finally

Figure out moving costs