"Wow, you really love your vegetables!"

(cuteness courtesy of Cakespy)


I'm nervous now that this high will wear off--that it would be impossible for me to feel good this good for more than, say, two days in a row, especially with a return to teaching a mere 10 hours away, and I'll go back to the doldrums. I'm nervous that it's not my cells reacting with joy to beautiful good nutrition, but a placebo effect. I'm nervous, frankly, that it was all a beautiful dream, but real life will return soon, and all this good stuff will just disappear like dust motes when the sun stops shining on them.

I mean, who am I to take radical changes to be happy? The woman who punished herself through isolation, overspending and woefully poor food choices for two months, for having the gall to leave home and friends-that-are-family behind and move to a completely foreign city. She wants to be happy?

Hell, yes, motha-effer, she does. And she's busy tapping on her demons, reminding herself that she deserves nothing less than radiant health. She went for a walk today, positively exulting in the sunshine, the beauty of plants and nature and blue skies and energy. And maybe she should stop with the third person.

Does it happen like that? Do I just get to make simple healthy food choices and feel that much better? I invested in hemp oil (omegas are beautiful for a number of reasons, with some thought that they prevent depression being a big one for me) and stocked up on some leafyGs--four bunches of spinach, two of kale (it is so virtuous! it makes me so charged up! smoothies feel lonely without them!) and one lettuce. This, along with avocados, peaches, bananas, cherry tomatoes for snacking--I think maybe 4 things in my cart were processed out of everything I bought. The cashier was like, "Wow, you really love vegetables", and I took the opportunity to blather on about how yeah, I make a green smoothie for breakfast and lunch every day, and it's so easy, and for some reason I crave sugar less, and I just feel great....I think she was unconvinced by the babbling, but oh well. Maybe I'll get better at being evangelical later on. (And I was frugal, in a green way: all the veggies were bought on sale, and I purposely stocked up on what seemed like super cheap spinach: $.77 for a bunch. I haven't been veggie-crazy in America for three years--is that a good deal?)

If anyone out there can give me some perspective--does the good energy fade? Does it keep building? Will I just get used to it? I realize that it brings up huge issues of believing that I don't deserve to feel happy or healthy--and really, these are enormous issues; I'm grateful that I can confront them in this positive way. I feel really drawn to making better, simpler, cleaner vegan food choices; I did make a quinoa salad for lunch tomorrow with feta, but I'd much rather use what I have than waste food. Whatevs. I am hugely enjoying feeling healthy, and hugely enjoying researching raw and vegan and raw vegan and whole foods diet and nutrition information. I feel like it's radical in the best of all radical ways: me empowering myself to be more powerful to accomplish more good living to make my weeny little corner of the world the change I want to see.